Drop it. You want to get married for the right reasons. The fact that you want to bond yourself to another human being for the rest of your life. Not because you are in a race against time and MUST BE MARRIED by a deadline.
I thought for sure that I would be married by 25. I got engaged at 19 and planned 3 weddings with a guy that was my polar opposite. We had some great times but he wasn't the guy for me. We broke up in 2004. I was about to turn 23 when we broke up (about 12 days away from my 23rd birthday) and I freaked out a bit. I was supposed to be married in 2 years and I had to meet a new person, fall in love, and get married. Yea right!!
Anywho, a year goes by and I have fun. I date a guy for 3 months who was weird and foreign and fun. But that didn't work out. Then I met Paul. Paul rocked my world like no one had before. A month in, I was sold. I figured, perfect timing right? I was 24. I pressured the hell out of him starting about 11 months in. I mentioned marriage every day. I pointed out rings I liked. I broke down one day and started blubbering about how I want him to marry me and why hasn't he committed. Yea, I was a loser.
A month later, 2 months after I turned 25, the guy that rocked my world like no one else dumped me. Couldn't commit. Told me that he wasn't in love with me anymore. I was a WRECK. Not only did I lose him, I wasn't going to meet my timeline! Oh no!
I was single for a year. I dated like crazy. From May 2006 to April 2007, I went on about 50 - 75 first dates. I pretty much doubled my list. I went crazy. And I found nothing that was worth my time. Out of those 50 - 75 people, I liked 1. ONE guy. Laaame. The rest completely sucked in one way or another. They were too short, too dorky, too UNdorky, too cool, too rich, too poor...too SOMETHING. Truth is, they weren't Paul.
So over the course of that single year, I changed my perspective. Remembered what I wanted out of marriage. Remembered that I had tons of time left to have kids. Life spans are longer and people are healthier for longer. My mom turned 60 in November and she's not some old grandma woman. She's pretty rockin still.
When it comes to love, focus on what you want each day. Remember what truly makes you happy. Enjoy every moment that you can. You can't make anyone else love you, no matter how hard you try. If they aren't ready to get married, you might lose the best thing that you've ever had.
Paul and I got back together in October and our relationship is just as magical as it was before. This time, I'm 27 and he's 26. We're older and more mature. And I could care less if we're together for 10 years without ever getting married. Being with him is what truly counts, not getting a ring on my finger as fast as possible.
Did you catch up on How I met your Mother yet? I found a cool (very lost like) link to a clue about who the mother is. I love spoilers (even if they may be wrong) but know not everyone else does, let me know if you want me to post the link.
10 comments:
Hey Ladies,
Only about 4 minutes of Episode 90 are up and ready for listening. Just wanted to give you the heads up!
Take care,
Randi
woops. thanks randi! i think i fixed it. it's the gods continuing to smite me.
Okay, I have a few words of wisdom for Nikki.
Drop the timeline.
Seriously.
Drop it. You want to get married for the right reasons. The fact that you want to bond yourself to another human being for the rest of your life. Not because you are in a race against time and MUST BE MARRIED by a deadline.
I thought for sure that I would be married by 25. I got engaged at 19 and planned 3 weddings with a guy that was my polar opposite. We had some great times but he wasn't the guy for me. We broke up in 2004. I was about to turn 23 when we broke up (about 12 days away from my 23rd birthday) and I freaked out a bit. I was supposed to be married in 2 years and I had to meet a new person, fall in love, and get married. Yea right!!
Anywho, a year goes by and I have fun. I date a guy for 3 months who was weird and foreign and fun. But that didn't work out. Then I met Paul. Paul rocked my world like no one had before. A month in, I was sold. I figured, perfect timing right? I was 24. I pressured the hell out of him starting about 11 months in. I mentioned marriage every day. I pointed out rings I liked. I broke down one day and started blubbering about how I want him to marry me and why hasn't he committed. Yea, I was a loser.
A month later, 2 months after I turned 25, the guy that rocked my world like no one else dumped me. Couldn't commit. Told me that he wasn't in love with me anymore. I was a WRECK. Not only did I lose him, I wasn't going to meet my timeline! Oh no!
I was single for a year. I dated like crazy. From May 2006 to April 2007, I went on about 50 - 75 first dates. I pretty much doubled my list. I went crazy. And I found nothing that was worth my time. Out of those 50 - 75 people, I liked 1. ONE guy. Laaame. The rest completely sucked in one way or another. They were too short, too dorky, too UNdorky, too cool, too rich, too poor...too SOMETHING. Truth is, they weren't Paul.
So over the course of that single year, I changed my perspective. Remembered what I wanted out of marriage. Remembered that I had tons of time left to have kids. Life spans are longer and people are healthier for longer. My mom turned 60 in November and she's not some old grandma woman. She's pretty rockin still.
When it comes to love, focus on what you want each day. Remember what truly makes you happy. Enjoy every moment that you can. You can't make anyone else love you, no matter how hard you try. If they aren't ready to get married, you might lose the best thing that you've ever had.
Paul and I got back together in October and our relationship is just as magical as it was before. This time, I'm 27 and he's 26. We're older and more mature. And I could care less if we're together for 10 years without ever getting married. Being with him is what truly counts, not getting a ring on my finger as fast as possible.
Just some wise words from an older woman. :)
Did you catch up on How I met your Mother yet? I found a cool (very lost like) link to a clue about who the mother is. I love spoilers (even if they may be wrong) but know not everyone else does, let me know if you want me to post the link.
I saw that Kathleen! Totally awesome! :)The more I watch HIMYM, the more I love it.
I say post the link! If people don't want to look they don't have to, but I'm also a sucker for spoilers.
Here's the link to the HIMYM spoiler.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/23184437.html
Miss you ladies! Hope everything is well on your end.
Another Britney on HIMYM night. Wee.
It's been since the beginning of May and no new podcast!
In other news, I finally saw Jason Segel's junk...I mean Forgetting Sarah Marshall. What an excellent movie!
Hope all is well!
thanks for the love randi!
we've been on accidental, but then intentional hiatus. we will be back this week though, scouts honor.
miss you guys!
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